HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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