NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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