you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have post one night stand depression
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize