You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
