the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
