The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
