Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
