It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
