That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
