Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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