I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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