Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
