Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
