Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
