I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize