He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
