Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
