Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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