i don't like sucking hair
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
