I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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