i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize