I don't think brook has ever known best
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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