I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
