After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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