so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
