Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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