i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
