Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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