This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
