The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You've changed since you got that strap on
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
