im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
