Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize