So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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