I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
