she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
