i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
