Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
