I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize