party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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