try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
