You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ttyl tear gas
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
