I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
