have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
