I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
