I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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