i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
