how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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