Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
