who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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