He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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