it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize