Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
