what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
