Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I touched a dick in church today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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