i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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