What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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