Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is Oprah even human
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
