I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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